[audio] username: thebeginning

[starpulse]

[ There's a new username on the block and it appears that thebeginning does not believe in texts posts, so come click play on this audio! You'll be treated to a young-sounding female voice that has diction and inflection like your grandma. ]

Attention, people of the wondrous tome!

I have been following your conversations for a few days now and I am most entertained and at the same time most confused. Just what are all of you? Am I truly speaking to mortals of far-away lands?

I do not wish to bother you only for trivialities, however. Relay to me your most entertaining story. Where I am, it is always so boring and I am so... [ yaaaawn ] sleepy...