[ AUDIO ] Counselor's Log; Stardate 52073.59

[jrltezridax]

[ Her voice is young and shows that in how deeply colored by emotion it is -- excitement and confusion and curiosity all buzzing around each other, in this case. ]

Counselor's Log, Stardate 52073.59. Several hours ago, what appears to be a subspace anomaly installed itself on my PADD. The anomaly gave a message -- oh, what was it? Oh, right, there is is. Welcome to [Deatth Chat]. Spelt with two t's, mind that. You may use this application to converse with other [chosen ones] across the multiverse.

It's incredible. I appear to be one of only ten 'chosen one's' selected to receive the anomaly across a plethora of Mirror Verses. Unlike previously thought, it appears there are more than just the one. I've given my PADD to Chief O'Brien to analyze, but it manifests on any new PADD or computer I attempt to use. No one else seems to be able to see it, but O'Brien does note a strange neutrino surge in any electronic I'm using. It appears to want me to interact with it as much as possible, though it's impossible to tell yet if the application itself is sentient.

The other 'Chosen Ones' seem to all be from Earth, with one exception though I don't recognize their species, and their years range from 1656 all the way to 6557. Ages range from 13 to 27. Well, unless you count me. But, well I'm 20. Dax is 300 or so. Well, the oldest apart from Dax is 27. But, also, not everyone has reported their age. Or their year.

I have made contact with the other users. The purpose or origin of the app is uncertain, but Captain Sisko is wary it may be a surveillance from the Dominion. We'll know more after Chief O'Brien gets a fix on it.

Dax out.

Comments

[leopatraofficial]

whats the dominion? :0

[jrltezridax]

An organization of planets from the Gamma Quadrant. We’re currently at war with them.

[leopatraofficial]

oh

sorry, that sucks D:

[puellaregem]

Your Chief O'Brien is able to detect a physical affect of the app's presence on a given device, then. Very interesting.

Please keep us informed on what you're able to uncover.

[ And regarding the elephant in the room... ]

Are you Dax, or is Dax someone else?

[jrltezridax]

Oh, geez. I didn’t mean to post that. But yes, the Chief detects neutrino surges — a little stronger when I’m actively sending or reading messages on the app. Just reading, too, not touching or scrolling or typing, isn’t that fantastic? He says it’s similar to when anything comes through the Wormhole — that is, instantaneously travels through a gateway that connects one part of our universe to another that is so far away we would be incapable of traveling to it without the wormhole. I’m not doing it justice, but it’s really quite interesting. Maybe I can upload his logs.

I’m Ezri Dax. Well, I’m Ezri, and Dax is Dax, but Dax is also Jadzia and Tobias and Lela and all of my other past hosts. Well, I guess it might be more accurate to say Dax’s past hosts. I’m the ninth host for the Dax Symbiont. I’m a Trill, see, and our species forms a symbiotic relationship in which we act as host bodies for the symbionts. They can’t live outside their pools without us, and in return we get the memories and experiences of all their past hosts. My name is Ezri. The symbiont’s name is Dax. But we’re joined now, very recently, and I’m not really just Ezri anymore, and Dax isn’t just Dax. I guess I don’t really know how to answer your question. It depends on how you look at it, I guess.

[ Ezri’s given herself a headache just thinking about all this again and wishes there was another counselor aboard the station. ]

[leopatraofficial]

thats cool :0

how do u look at it?

[Didn't ask because she didn't want to come off as rude, but glad Shiori asked.]

[jrltezridax]

I’ve been asking myself hat same question for weeks! I just say I’m Ezri Dax. If I say both, it isn’t as confusing somehow.

[leopatraofficial]

is that what i should call u 2?

[puellaregem]

I believe I more or less understand the gist of it, though it would be interesting to see what your colleague makes of it. So far a few particularly attuned beings have been able to sense something out of the ordinary about devices affected by the app, but there was no detectable physical influence beyond that.

[ ...The rest is a lot to take in, but at least "symbiont" clicks in context. ]

I see. So the symbiont absorbs the memories of each Trill that hosts it and passes these on to subsequent hosts? That sounds... complicated to experience, to say the least. I'm sorry if it was an impertinent question.

[ It sounds reminiscent enough of possession in concept that it has her curious if Sebastian's ever heard of such a thing, too. ]

[jrltezridax]

Yes. It’s very odd. It seems to move around and he’s been unable to get a fix or reading on it past just that it is there. Which is great for me, because otherwise my reports to Starfleet about it would get me in a lot of trouble for fooling around!

Yes, something like that! It’s not just memories, though. It’s personalities and cravings and preferences and muscle memory. I can tell you how many times I’ve smacked my hand into something because I thought my arm was shorter than it was since I’ve joined. Being joined is a huge honor on Trill, only a small part of Trills can be joined, but I’m not sure if I’m up for it! Which is ridiculous, you know, because hosting a symbionts usually makes people so confident — all the knowledge and experience, you know? Jadzia felt so strong, and Toban’s personality completely changed. But all I’ve got are cravings for foods I don’t even like and spacesickness from a past host’s PTSD. I mean, personalities always change, though, but it’s usually for the better. I’m not just Ezri anymore, now my entire personality is a blend of the Symbiont and all of the previous hosts. Or it’s meant to be. I’m certainly not as brass as Jadzia was. It’s pretty disorientating!!

[ AUDIO ] Counselor's Log, Supplemental

[jrltezridax]

Counselor's Log, Supplemental. We're still dealing with Deatth Chat and going forward a little warily -- with a name like that, how else could you approach it?! --, though no one I have been communicating with on the application has expressed any ill intent, thus far. We all just seem pretty confused!

Anyway, I've asked Chief O'Brien to explain what's going on.

[ Her voice is replaced by a man with a thick Irish accent. ]

[ O'Brien ] Hmm? Am I explaining for the Starfleet log or for your new friends on this bloody Deatth Chat? You know, a name like that, Ezri, you really shouldn't be goin' around makin' friends so easy --

[ Ezri ] Come on, Chief, they're as confused as we are, and none of them have been able to figure it out. You can send your logs to Starfleet and I'll send this one to them.

[ O'Brien] Oh, all right. I s'pose it can't hurt anything.

[ There's a fluttering beeping of a tricorder and the unmistakable grunt of a dad-shaped man getting up from the floor. ]

[ O'Brien ] Well, for starters, whatever this anomaly is, only Ezri can see it. We're not sure yet if it's because she's the only joined Trill aboard the station. Might be some kind of Trill virus, but Julian's cleared --

[ Ezri ] That's Doctor Julian Bashir, Chief of Medical Operations!

[ O'Brien ] -- her, nothing funny goin' on in that head of hers this time, and she says none of her past hosts have ever experienced anything like this. I detecting some very, very minor neutrino surges when Ezri says she even looks at this application of hers. It's about twice as strong when she's actively typing on it, and it vanishes when there's no contact. Just like the wormhole. It seems instantaneous.

I've made a few attempts to isolate the program, but it's no good. It flits from device to device faster than a transporter. I'm going to try a modulating array, but with how insignificant the surges are, I don't know what good it'll do. It's not like we can just block them. I'm going to call one of my friends down from the transporter array, I'm wondering if it's similar...

If it's similar to the Wormhole, we might be able to bridge a gap into it if we can get ahold of some silithium and create a subspace filament -- will that work across dimensions? --, but I'm not sure where the hell we're going to get ahold of a batch of silithium that would be safe, or where we would even put it... Christ, I'll talk to Quark, if anyone knows, it'll be him.

Looks like the work of the nonlinears beings, though. Not like we can really ask them. Have you talked to Sisko?

[ Ezri ] I will! Okay. Thanks, Chief, Ezri out.

[ O'Brien ] Oi, I'm not d--

[ The recording stops. ]

[leopatraofficial]

nonlinear beings?? :0

[the_obedient_servant]

[ There is a lot to unpack here. ]

Hm. This kind of relationship is familiar to me. The long term effects of this seem... dangerous. At least in your world.

[ And it ended up killing Frisk, so. ]

[jrltezridax]

Oh, no, I hope I’m not giving you a bad impression of Trill. Most hosts are much more mentally prepared than I was... most go through years of training to make sure they’ll be able to handle it. And then there’s me, the only Trill in lightyears when Dax’s previous host died — didn’t really have much of a choice, or it would have died, and I would have practically been a criminal back home.

You aren’t from Earth, are you? Where are you from? Do you have a symbiosis tradition, too?

[the_obedient_servant]

I am from Earth actually. My circumstances are simply unique.

[ They're a little disturbed at how open to being possessed and rewritten this person is, but it's not like it's their business so. ]

[jrltezridax]

Oh, really? If you want to share, I'm really very interested in your circumstances! But it's certainly all right if not.

[ectoplasmfear]

There's actually eleven of us. You probably forgot Teru. He's not particularly memorable.

[ Ciel isn't the only one who can nitpick. ]

[ectoplasmfear]

Or twelve now, apparently. It's like an infestation.

[leopatraofficial]

hes plenty memorable u_u

[Bitch.]

[ectoplasmfear]

You're right. Terra is one of the most memorable people here. Who's your guess as to who she forgot? I'm thinking River.

[leopatraofficial]

*teru

my moneys on L u_u

[the_obedient_servant]

[ They can't think of anything worse. Completely conjoined thoughts without even the option of allowing the other privacy? The amount of breakdowns they had when they were attached to Frisk? The idea of Frisk feeling the exact same with an underlining tone of pity that they would then be forced to redirect at themselves? Horrible. And the idea of taking Frisk's happiness away and replacing it with their own self pitying misery sounds like the worst thing Chara could ever do to them. ]

I see. It's only a shame you didn't get a choice, then. But I understand a situation is a situation, so I won't push further. Though on the flip-side I can imagine it's satisfying to acquire three hundred years worth of knowledge.

[ It's the only positive thing they can think of that would come from such an arrangement. The very idea of it makes their skin crawl. They kicked the cage in their room as they were typing this, to make sure there's nothing in there. ]

[jrltezridax]

[ After everyone's constant talk about that's the way things are and you should be honored, it's deeply gratifying to hear someone call it a shame. Ezri immediately feels guilty for feeling so relieved and shoves the feeling deep into her mind for Dax's next host to judge her for. ]

It is. All I got to prepare was a fifteen minute lecture from the ship's surgeon, and he wasn't even a Trill... nobody gets it, I guess, which is fair, because what has to be wrong with a Trill to not want to be joined, you know?

[ And now she hopes O'Brien never figures out how to externally access the app. Not that she'd get exiled from Trill just for saying that. Probably. ]

Three hundred years worth of knowledge comes with three hundred year's worth of dark secrets and embarrassing memories and navigating relationships, too, though, you've got to consider. I actually work with my past host's husband now, it's deeply awkward for the both of us.

And I'm kind-of dating, well, trying to, I guess, date someone my past host had a crush on and I really can't tell if it's my crush or Jadzia's. It's horrible!

[filtered to jrltezridax]

[the_obedient_servant]

Oh, I know how that feels. It's also not a particularly pleasant feeling watching your family replace you with your host, even praising them as better or the kind of friend they actually wanted. Everything you were becomes a symbol for people to use to push their agenda and then the second they denounce it, they denounce you too. But I'm not allowed to complain because I'm lucky that they ever accepted me to begin with.

[ Okay, now that all pretences of being possessed being a good thing is out of the way, they can finally be honest. ]

I imagine getting three hundred years worth of knowledge and memories would be very disarming. Especially the irrational attachment that comes with it. Luckily, I never had to experience that. I was mostly just told what to do, who to talk to and what to think, even when the past me would never have followed such demands.

It's actually fairly relieving to make connections completely seperate from your past lives. Because at least then your feelings are entirely up to you.

[ Cough,Susie, Cough.]

Re: [filtered to jrltezridax]

[jrltezridax]

I sure understand that. I had to break up with the boy I was seeing before I was joined because now he reminds me of a past host's son... and everyone keeps comparing me to my last host, Jadzia. "You have her eyes", "you have her smile"; I don't know how to explain to them that I really don't and they're projecting their memories of her onto me. It's horrid!

And all this after the crew on my last station all but stopped speaking to me after I was joined because it felt "weird" to them.

I even went back to Trill to see the counsel that overseeing symbiont bonds in person, but they couldn't do a thing to help me, even if they wanted to.

[ Ezri's a little worked up now. ]

You don't keep your memories as your lives go on, so to speak?